Under a lot of stress?

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

Yesterday, I  left two of my three student jobs, because everything was slowly becoming a bit too much to handle and I decided to keep the one that is the most connected with my studies and where I could work enough to get me through the month. One of the main reasons is that I had zero time to work on my thesis, and since I have no desire to spend three years writing it, I had to kick myself in the ass and get to work. For the last few months, I felt like I have to all of the things at once and when I wanted to take some time for myself, I always felt a bit guilty when I saw all of the work waiting for me. So guess what happened last week? I got sick and definitely didn’t get better with working everyday. For the first time in ages, I had zero appetite and I could sleep all the time. My body wanted a time to rest and now I see I have to spend some time at home, in bed, to get better. Our bodies will tell us when they need a break, we just have to learn how to listen to them. That’s something I’ll have to work on:)

Continue reading “Under a lot of stress?”

Pole dancing and body positivity

pole_bodypositivity.jpg

I’ve decided to write this post when I’ve realized that for the past year, I could step on the scale and not worry about the number for the first time in my life. Now I think it’s just a number, not something that defines you. But I needed some time to realize that, so I think it’s best to start this story at the beginning.

I was one of those extremely skinny girls when I was a teenager. Partly because of my bone structure, partly because I wasn’t eating enough for all the activities I was involved in that time. There practically wasn’t a day without a sports activity and I should have adjusted my calorie intake – but I didn’t. I actually loved the fact how skinny I was. Growing up in the age of super skinny models, reading magazines filled with diet advice and photos of ”ideal bodies”, my body seemed kind of normal to me, I liked that I looked gentle and fragile, and I had no idea why people close to me were worried. My body image was completely disortorted and when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see what I see in the old photos now.

Continue reading “Pole dancing and body positivity”