Getting rid of stage fright

stage fright

For a person, who has performed on stage many times in her life, I often feel nervous before stepping on the stage. Like really nervous, even though I have a background in dancing. The biggest problem for me is talking – even when I have a presentation at college in front of 5 people, I feel more nervous than when I dance in front of a full theater. I think that’s because I’m not used to situations like that and I become really aware of my voice in that moment (which sometimes leads to a shaky voice and too much concentration on the structure of the sentences, which were perfectly fine in the beginning:)). New situations also make me feel nervous. At the beginning of the year, I had my first solo performance in Mademoiselle pole dance studio, and even though the show was opened only for the dancers and almost all of us were performing in groups that night, I hadn’t felt so nervous in a while. But on the other hand, it was something I wanted to do ever since I started pole dancing, and it the end, it didn’t turned out the way I wanted to, but it still turned out good and I got a lot of compliments…so all in all, I was happy I decided to perform and will do more of similar things in the future:).

I decided to write about the stage fright and that nervous feeling because I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone a lot lately. Life doesn’t last forever and there’s so much things I want to experience…so I faced my nervous side with a question: What’s the worse that could happen?

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Pole dancing and body positivity

pole_bodypositivity.jpg

I’ve decided to write this post when I’ve realized that for the past year, I could step on the scale and not worry about the number for the first time in my life. Now I think it’s just a number, not something that defines you. But I needed some time to realize that, so I think it’s best to start this story at the beginning.

I was one of those extremely skinny girls when I was a teenager. Partly because of my bone structure, partly because I wasn’t eating enough for all the activities I was involved in that time. There practically wasn’t a day without a sports activity and I should have adjusted my calorie intake – but I didn’t. I actually loved the fact how skinny I was. Growing up in the age of super skinny models, reading magazines filled with diet advice and photos of ”ideal bodies”, my body seemed kind of normal to me, I liked that I looked gentle and fragile, and I had no idea why people close to me were worried. My body image was completely disortorted and when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see what I see in the old photos now.

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