I’ve decided to share my story a few weeks ago and let me be honest, it was scary. But at the same time, it was like a huge weight was lifted off me and I could leave that chapter of my life behind. I’ve been thinking a lot about a positive image since then and why do we find it so hard to love our bodies the way they are. I can look on my experience from a distance now and I can see how much I wanted to be perfect, but for me, the standard was so high, I could never reach that perfection. I also included some pole photos in this post – no retouch, no hiding of ”flaws”. Pole dancing is a sport that sometimes squeezes your body, shows your rolls and cellulite, but it’s my happy place and I feel the most comfortable there. When I was younger, I saw that complaining about your body is an often subject in girls conversations. Whether it’s just general complaining about that few extra pounds (the ones that, believe me, are not extra, that’s just the way we see it), talking about diets, about running, working out… And nowadays it’s no different. We keep seeing photos of some would call it perfect bodies (let’s admit it, we know what Photoshop can do) and we compare ourselves to them in our everyday lives. But you know what? In our everyday, there is no perfect, soft lighting or many layers of powder to keep our skin looking perfect. There are no posed moments. It’s just us and our (sometimes busy) lives. We sometimes do our make up in bad lighting. Sometimes there’s a light in a room that gives us bags under our eyes. We are bloated on some parts of the month, or maybe we just don’t feel like wearing a tight dress when going to dinner because of our ”food baby”.
When I was younger, I thought tummy rolls meant only that you are fat and that a flat tummy is something permanent and it stays the same when you are standing, sitting… Silly me, right. But let’s face it, they are a part of almost every body, and even a person with a six pack will have them sometimes when he sits down. The skin has to go somewhere and the amount of fat we have on the belly (even if it’s a small amount) forms a small roll when we are not standing and the belly is not stretched. I’ve had so many issues with my tummy rolls, more than I want to admit. I’ve had them all my life – when I had 50 kg, when I had 40 kg, I still have them now, even though I’m pole dancing, weight lifting and twerking every week and eating (mostly :D) healthy. My problems ended when I started to look myself in the mirror more often, when I studied some poses and the way body changes when we move around. I have a great light next to the mirror :D. When I stand, I can see my tummy is more or less flat, how more and more muscles are seen every day and that my little muffin top can be seen only in a few poses. And then I sit down and voila, tummy rolls appear. If you asked me five years ago, I wouldn’t believe that a person with these tummy rolls works out, is building muscle and has more or less a flat tummy when she stands up. And that is why I decided to write this post. And share some photos from a pole photo-shoot where you can clearly see the cellulite on my butt :D. I also took part in I am all (wo)men photo shoot (can’t wait to see the photos and share them with you:) #excited). I think it’s one of the best projects in Slovenia lately. It’s based on the fact that each body is beautiful and they want to show real bodies from different men and women, so if you haven’t heard about them yet, check them out! And this kind of things make me want to share my thoughts, my feelings.
Because I want people to know that each body is different, and not just each body, the same body can be so different in the morning or in the evening, standing or sitting, posing or not posing. And that bodies that we daily compare ourselves to? They’re not more perfect than ours. Behind almost every photo is a person who sometimes feels insecure, feels pressured to look perfect. But f*** it, we’re not perfect and that is perfectly fine. I’m also guilty of posing for a photo from some great angle that makes me feel amazing in my skin. And that’s also perfectly fine. As long as we all know that that’s not a permanent state. And that there’s so much more to a person than his or hers look. There are hobbies, passions, talents, a sense of humour, an ability to listen… We are so much more than our physical appearance. I don’t want to say that we shouldn’t take care about our look. I love make up, I love styling different clothes together, I love sports and taking care of my body and health. But we should take care of ourselves, our physical and mental health. We sometimes forget about the second while taking too much care of the first. So let’s take care of both, right, and let’s embrace body positivity in its full meaning – loving your body and taking great care of it, inside and out.
Pole photos by: Boštjan Gunčar